17 Mar 2017

They have Taken the Bridge...

How about a little story time?
I love watching those youtube story time's and to be honest I kinda wished I had a channel simply for the purpose of sharing this story.

I'm not even sure where to start. Well, I will say for those of you who might not know. I am holed up in a drafty, smallish farm house. Somewhere west of nowhere and east of all civilization. It's cold on the good days and below freezing on the bad. The internet goes out more than I do, and my phone consistently drops calls.

The water tastes funny and has a yellow film in it, that leaves rings in the sinks, bathtub, and cups.
I boil it and put it in the fridge for an hour before sipping a drop. I am still convinced if I die it is because of whatever lurks unseen in the water. Alas, not even the water is reliable, it takes almost an hour to fill the tub and cleaning has to be done around whenever it decides to reappear.

We have all gotten used to half washed clothes and running the washer at least twice.

I thought after living here for no less than three months, I had dealt with all this house could possibly throw at me. Plugged sinks, burst water pipes, stuck cars, snow storms, and a door freezing shut. That last one required four hours, two blow dryers, some dedication, and a screwdriver.

I was gaining a bit of confidence, I had cooked a perfectly moist turkey, put in some smoke detectors, and laid out some mouse traps. People say I am not independent, puh, what do they know.

I had thought I was on the road to complete self reliance. Until one rather calm, and boring night. Nothing bad had happened that day it had been sometime after eleven when I finally gave into the call to sleep. I was sleeping peacefully, until I was woken by my cat.

She was running at full speed between my room and the kitchen. Back and forth, like some kind of game. I sat up intending to end the madness with a well placed pillow.

Only to see her chase an alarmingly large blob into my room. I wasn't wearing my glasses and for a brief moment, I had the terrible thought that it was a spider. I was no longer sleepy, I was terrified. I threw my glasses on and flicked the flashlight on my phone on.

My cat was digging through the stacks of books that make up my book tree. She has done that nearly every night, and I never once thought something could be hiding in between them.

Something jumped up onto them, it was a beady eyed big eared mouse.

I am not usually scared of mice, but this one looked more like a rat, it was really late, it was sitting on my books, on my precious books.

Even though it was five in the morning and we are two hours ahead of my parents. I did what any scared, very independent, young adult would do. I texted my Dad.




  At least my Dad still has his humor, even at three in the morning.

Loki chased it around for a good hour, with me encouragingly screaming 'get it, get it'  before she finally trapped it under my bed. I heard a sickening crack, and that was the end of the mouse. I had to grab it from her, before she could eat it, and I placed it outside the front door in a plastic bag. Due to the strong wind it was gone,when I looked for it at an more decent hour.


 My hero!




6 Mar 2017

Blank Pages

I feel like my life is made up of  empty notebooks, sketchbooks, and promises

I try to write it out, draw it, and express it, but it never comes out right. The words are never enough, the picture never clear, it just mixes into a jumble of splattered ink and paint.

So instead of making art. I plan, collect, and listen to it. I just never make it.

I stare at my stacks of empty notebooks and sketchbooks, wishing I could paint them with the pictures in my mind. Wish, I could articulate my point of view. Make something memorable, something to prove, I haven't wasted my time or my life. 

Because if I don't break the cycle. This is all I will leave behind...

Blank Pages

28 Feb 2017

Quality over Quantitiy


 Stumbling back into the blog sphere like.




 I have been doing a lot of re-evaluating this month.
Sorting, organizing, and discarding.

Not just with physical stuff, but with everything really. The hardest thing for me to sort through is all of my digital clutter.
Word documents, pictures, videos, social media things, it's ridiculous.

I have a tendency to just open a word doc and write something for a book down, fail to label it and put it in some obscure file. The result is a scattered puzzle piece effect, where I have to search for different parts of my books, and then try to piece them together. (why do you do this to yourself)

Another one of my weird habits, is to plan a photo shoot take over 200 hundred shots, with only 20 of those being good. Then I fail to delete the bad ones and Photoshop the good ones. (this makes me crazy)

Or filling folders of book ideas, and picture ideas but failing to execute them.

These are the habits I am trying to change, along with writing or editing a book getting about a paragraph done, and then rewarding myself  with five episodes of whatever I'm watching at the moment.

I know this makes me sound like a scattered brained procrastinator, which is true but I am also a perfectionist. So you can see what kind of pain I cause myself on a daily basis.

My perfectionist side tries to balance all this out, by making lists, organizing, and adding more projects to the mess.

My perfectionist side has me writing more than three books at once.

Reading more than five books at once.

My perfectionist side is only happy if I am doing anything and everything, and that all of these things are done flawlessly.  


So in reality, nothing gets done, I get depressed. My lists and things to do just get bigger and more impossible.


I am cutting the fat.

I can't do everything at once, I can't be everything at once.

I can allow myself rest.

I can allow myself to do one thing at a time.

I need to allow myself to celebrate one accomplishment, before diving into the next.

I'd rather have one good book, then twenty bad ones. Quality is better than quantity. I want to be invested in what I do. I want to live with purpose.


So this was more of a note to self, but I digress.
My internet has been terrible, so I just sit at the computer, shouting.








 






20 Feb 2017

Beautiful People #22 Couples Edition

I haven't done one of these in so long. I've missed them, makes bringing a character to life so much easier.

So as always this is a link-up hosted by Cait the ever fabulous, and the too pure for this world Sky 






 Couples, love, and romance are my kryptonite, so go easy on me. I thought since he is being an arrogant cow I would bring William back, I am still plodding along with his and Belle's story. So I though this might give me a boost.

1. How and why did they meet?

God knows, um sorry I will let them answer.

Belle- It's kinda a long story, 'he' held my father hostage for the price of a daughter. All for picking a rose, and he actually didn't ask for me it was my sister-

William- Sounds bloody poetic, but that sums it up nicely.


2. What were their first impressions of each other?


William- *smirking* She was filthy and decidedly not blonde.

Belle- Disgust, annoyance, and he was a drama queen.

William - Darling, you forgot charming and devilishly handsome.

 Belle- Decidedly not.


3. How would they prove their love for each other?

*Pointed looks exchanged*

William- Well that is... I mean I think you simply putting up with me counts

Belle- Agreed

William- I am terrible at showing, umm

Belle- You did give me a library 

William- That's right



4. What would be an ideal date?

Belle- It would be nice to go somewhere other than the castle.

William- You mean places with people, dreadful.


5. Is there anything they emphatically disagree on?

Belle- *snorts*

William- Of course not! She just has her morals, she hates that I drink, certain words, and my constant attempts to demoralize her. Mostly the drinking

*takes a drink*

Belle- As you can see it bothers him so much. 


6. List 5 "food quirks"they know about each other.

William- 

. She has an  insatiable sweet tooth 
. Addicted to tea
. Likes proper meals
. Reads at the table, which isn't proper
. Is incompetent in the kitchen

Belle-

. Forgets to eat sometimes(how?)
. Prefers whiskey to everything
. Is impossible to get to eat a proper meal
. Is a better cook
. Gets frustrated by my lack of culinary knowledge 

7. What is one thing they know about each other that no one else does?

William- Despite appearances, she is fierce and one of the strongest people I know.

Belle- He isn't a monster


8. What's one thing that they kept a secret from each other?

William- Well if we're telling you it really can't be much of a secret.

Belle- Exactly

William- We tell each other everything, right dearest

Belle- Of course

*Both fidget awkwardly and avoid eye contact*

9. How would their lives be different without each other?

Belle- I would have been forced to marry some arrogant pig, who thought he was God's gift to the world. O' wait.

*glaring*

William- *Looking contrite* She doesn't mean it. Well I would be cursed, bloody depressed, but I would still have my looks.

Belle- * laughing* So humble, love.


10. Where do they see this  relationship going?

 William- It's gone or is going, I don't understand the question

Belle *twisting an elegant, gold band on her finger* Definitely gone.




 
 

 

14 Feb 2017

All the Things







I honestly don't even know how to write a post anymore, it's been so long. I have so many possible topics and stories I could do. Posts that will be coming,


A Beautiful People ( Because my characters are feeling neglected)

My Day in Storybook (Because it was one of my coolest birthday presents, and I finally have the photos on my computer)

A few book reviews, on the other blog that I forgot existed ( I read some really good ones this month)

Random Photo shoots (Because I have begun editing my files upon files of photos)

A review of Series of Unfortunate Events ( The Netflix show, it was fabulous)



Sherlock, something about Sherlock ( still feeling emotionally unstable thanks to the last episode)


Maybe some sketch dumps, because I have been trying to do a picture a day. I have also been trying to do that with books it's been fun.

Probably some posts about the horror that is living on your own in a frozen wasteland.

Just thought I would let you guys know that I am still around, and I will be writing somewhat irregularly again, because I finally got  wi fi on my phone. It took a month of phone calls, incompatible sim cards, and a hour drive through a snowstorm.

Until next time.








19 Dec 2016

Yet Another Update


     I have been meaning to write a post for a long time now. I have been busier than I have ever been in my life, these last months are a cloud of stress and exhaustion. Physically and Mentally I have been simply overwhelmed to the point where writing an email, or commenting on a blog post were too much. I think the only things I have been even slightly active on this month were Pinterest and Instagram, because of course.
     
      It's probably time to catch you guys up, I made some pretty big decisions last month. I feel like I say that every month. I digress, this time is the real deal. I have moved... again. This time is a little different, I have no security blanket, my younger cousin and I moved out together. My parents are going to cover the rent until we are on our feet, but it's my first time living in my own place, I have to budget, cook, and take care of the house. As well as keep an eye on two of my younger sisters.

      I am loving it so far, we live in the middle of nowhere. We can't even get Wi fi. So if you don't hear from me, it's because I am only able to use our hotspot at odd hours. We are having water issues, and it's in the negatives in regards to weather. Despite all that, I think this is a chance for me to push myself out of my comfort zone.
     
       I have to get my license, whether I feel like it or not. I have to go shopping, even though my introverted self wants to stay in the house and avoid human contact forever. I have to deal with things, like stuck cars, appointments, and bills. These are all good things, one of biggest complaints last year was that I wasn't independent.
     
       I also had no way of changing it, because taking that first step always terrified me. I had to get a literal push out the door. God has been teaching me so many things this month. I just hope this peace I have about everything lasts.

9 Nov 2016

An X-Files Photoshoot

I don't know if I post on here enough about it, but if you follow me on Pinterest. You probably know I am obsessed with X-Files which is an early nineties, sci-fi, drama. It is about two partners a believer and a skeptic. They solve cases involving anything strange or supernatural. It is equal parts cheesy, spooky, humorous, and dramatic. There are also some questionable fashion choices, shoulder pads, sweater vests. And Aliens did I mention Aliens!
Anyway, I fell in love with it, so I decided to do a small tribute to it, using two of my younger siblings.