23 May 2018

10 Ways I Procrastinate

I really tried to get a post up last week, but I was just overwhelmed in so many ways and I didn't want to whine. So I decided not to post at all. Very adult of me I know.

Most of life lately, is me pretending to do edits while doing anything else. I hope you guys can relate to that. I really don't want  to be the only one.

1. Cleaning 

This one isn't the worst, because it does need to get done. It's productive in a way and gives me the satisfaction of accomplishing something, even if that something is not what I should be focusing on.

2. Sitting on the computer.

I basically sit there, pretending to write or edit. I tell everyone that's what I'm doing, but I'm probably on Pinterest or Youtube. The benefit is the illusion that your working, and everyone believing it.

 3. Dancing

This only happens when no one is around. I blast crappy music, that I would never admit to listening to and sing and dance my heart out. It's incredibly cringe inducing.

4. Random crap.

This can be anything from staring at the roof to ripping up paper.

5.  Watching TV and claiming it's for research.

This one explains itself. I have so many shows, it's actually ridiculous.

6. Creating new characters and worlds.

This is always more fun then working on the current ones. It also gives me another reason to use Pinterest.

7. Eating

This is the most common way I procrastinate, it is a terrible habit. Don't recommend.

8. Reading or Re-reading

I like to get lost in other peoples worlds when my own is being difficult. I usually re-read my favorite stories, Howl's Moving Castle, Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, Jackaby, The Raven Boys. To name a few.

9. Drawing or Painting

This another thing that is at least productive. I love creating things.

10. Whining and Venting

It's embarrassing to admit this, but I do a lot of this. I hope I'm not the only one. I feel like writing is 10% doing it and 90% avoiding it.

9 May 2018

Post Contest Happenings

I've been meaning to write about this for awhile. To be honest, it's a bit hard. My emotions are still scrambled about everything. I'm still trying to make sense of it. I'm so dramatic, my goodness.

I'm also up to my eyeballs in edits, so bear with me. To be honest, most of me editing is watching youtube, tv, and eating. Maddie sent me this the other day, and it's so perfect.

 First off, I'm really happy that I didn't win this contest the two previous times I entered, because I wasn't ready. Emotionally or mentally, and obviously my writing wasn't quite there yet either. I also have been able, to take a step back from my writing and look at it more objectively. I don't take critiques personally which was not the case a year ago. 

So this all happened at the perfect time. There is a post in here about God's timing that I should probably write. Another time, even though I am better than I've been with my writing. I still wasn't prepared for all that winning meant.

Anne was right when she said the journey was just beginning for us.
The first thing you receive after winning besides the confidence boost, praise, and a fabulous cover is a timeline.

Which was all amazing by the way and made me cry for practically a week. I'm lying, I'm still crying.

After the weekend we got our timeline. That wasn't too overwhelming, Anne included a really nice note and some encouragement. It was basically an overview of everything that was going to happen and when, up to the release. Along with a small list of things we could work on like author bio, dedication, and author picture.

These things weren't as easy to write as I thought. The author bio was the worst and I took awhile on it. Talking about yourself in third person is weird. I went back and forth on the dedication. I'm happy that everything is done in that regard.

We got a full month after that to basically relax and savor the win, before we were sent the edits. I'm  part of a group chat with the other winners. We all kind of freaked out when we got the edits. They are all super nice, its great to have a place to go to talk out about edits and stuff.

I had just seen Infinity War the night before, so my mental state was a mess I'll admit.

I was a bit freaked, when I first went through the edits, not because I was upset by them. I actually agree with most of them, but just at the sheer amount of work I have ahead of me. They send you a line edit, which wasn't bad and actually made me laugh a few times at how inconsistent my writing can be and some honestly funny comments made by the editors.
That's what I get for writing a majority of this story at night, covered in chip crumbs and lying on the floor. Just hold on to that mental image, because it still applies.

 I have eight big revisions that I need to work through. I'm not sure how many the other winners got, but I like to image that mine was the most extensive, mostly because I am a drama queen.

So far I've gotten through three of them. Well thanks to Anne, of course! She is one of the sweetest people by the way. You can tell that she really cares about our stories and us. She is always there with a boost of encouragement, brainstorming help, and puts me at ease about everything. All the while writing 5,000 words a day in her own book and I presume having a full day on top of that. She is fantastic and I'm in awe of her.

It's funny because none of the things I thought were going to be problematic were. I still have plenty to worry about though. I need to develop Snow more as a character, apparently I write better guy characters,who knew? The romance between Chayse and Snow needs work too, I guess me trying to come of as subtle turned out more like indifference. Which makes a lot of sense.

I have to tighten up my ending and possibly take out one of Chayse's abilities. All of this is way harder then it sounds.

I have gotten through one chapter and a good deal of the second one, so far. I have all the little edits done and just the bigger stuff that is tied to the revisions left. I also just started utilizing the 5,000 words. It's exciting! 

I am worried that I will procrastinate and not finish in time. Alas, I shall do it!

Funny things my parents have said to me in regards to all this.

"You can't be depressed, you won a contest!" -My Mom, rather incredulously. I might add.

I was moaning that I needed help.
"Mentally or Emotionally."- My Dad with the most deadpanned expression.

"I love it! Not just saying that because I'm biased, while maybe a little."- My Dad, about my writing.

I was gushing, because someone had said something nice about my story. "Well you're talented dummy."- My Mom, tough love is the only love my family understands.

I was freaking out that my romance failed. 
"You, of all people, have no business writing a romance. You hate love."- My Mom, she's right by the way.

Anyway hope you guys enjoyed that peek into the process. I almost didn't get a post out today. Been trying to write this for a week. I just can't seem to do anything.

2 May 2018

April Recap

Do I do recaps?
I guess I do now. At least my take on one.

So April went flying by, I'm still not sure how.

I saw Infinity War, don't have the picture to prove it. My sister and I wore matching Loki shirts, my Dad wore a Batman shirt. He thinks he is funny. Left before the end credit scene, now before everyone rolls their eyes at me. I think it's stupid to sit there for a five second scene you can find on youtube or a streaming site at home. I don't judge you if you do though.

I'm still processing it... all I have to say is those bastards.

I got my edits and revisions for Falling Snow, and it was a lot. It was hard to take at first. Anne has been so encouraging and helpful through it all. I think I will survive it. If you guys want a post that goes into more detail about my edits and just basically all that winning entailed, let me know.

I haven't done any more writing this month, Fool's Bet has been sitting at 5,000 words. So that has been depressing. Looking at everyone else's word counts has made me want to get back to it.

Reading has also been neglected. I only read three books in April.

Technically haven't finished the last one. I would rate them all four stars. I've been re reading The Raven Boys, but that is an ongoing thing.

I watched a lot of Parks and Recreation and drank way too much coffee and tea. 

 Art wise I've been falling behind too, I have three painting on the go. I've been trying to start an art journal with no success. I also keep wanting to do character sketches, life happens I guess.

I did mess around with some cover design. I had one I liked, but ended up not being able to afford it and my second book lost the circus element which kinda made the cover not work. So I decided to try and make my own. Thoughts? I think I prefer the black one.

Went on a short road trip with my mom to see my aunt and cousins. It was a nice break, lots of Starbucks and sing screaming Taylor Swift.

All in all it was a strange month. Not super busy, but still managed to get nothing accomplished 

24 Apr 2018

The Lilah Music Challenge

So this is a tag that started as a crazy string of questions asked by Mary Katherine for Lilah. It was a hilarious thing to watch let me tell you. How the tables have turned, because they have now tagged me to answer the slew of questions. They are all music related which is something I love. So I'm actually excited to do this.

 I listen to everything from Broadway Musicals to Screamo. So this should be interesting.

1. One song on the radio that annoys you?

Happy by Pharrell, I can't stand it. *cringe*

2. One song that you love and sing along to every time it comes on the radio

Lately, Havana by Camila Cabello and New Rules by Dua Lipa. They both are super catchy, I got my Dad singing them.

3. Favorite and least favorite genre of music?

I think my favorite bands all fall under alternative and least favorite would have to be whatever yodeling is.

4. Last song you listened to?

This song, I've been listening to it everyday. It's Chayse and Snow's song.

5. Song you've been listening to a lot?

Such a haunting song. 

6. Favorite music video?

This one!

7. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes!!!  Young Blood- 5SOS

8. Favorite romantic song?

9. Last song you cried during?

Refer to answer 8. It's Cynfael's song in Fool's Bet, and there is a lot of emotions there.

10. Last song that made you laugh?

11. A song you like in a different language?

Despacito and a bunch of K-POP

12. Favorite summer song?

Boys of Summer- Don Henley

13. Road trip song?

One Headlight- The Wallflowers

14. Put yourself to sleep song?

 I love worship songs before I go to sleep. 'By Your Side' by Ten Avenue North is one of my favorites.

15.While-you-read song?

Anything by Twenty One Pilots

16. While-you-study song?

I graduated a while ago, so I haven't had to study in a while. Probably something soft like Lifehouse.

17. Last song on your playlist?

Break My Heart Again- Finneas

18. Song that makes you want to dance?

Galway Girl- Ed Sheeran


No name- NF
  20. Instrumental song?

All the songs from Zelda: Ocarina of  Time

21. A song with a color in it.... and do you love it or hate it?

Rainbow veins- Owl City


22. A song that means a lot to you right now?

Everything about this song...

Also this one has gotten me through a lot.

 23. Favorite Disney Song?

The Loki of my childhood. 

24. Favorite Disney Love Song?

I'm not a fan, maybe 'Love is an open door' because that ended so well... XD

25. Disney song you hate/dislike?

All the Disney love songs.

26. Favorite Disney soundtrack as a whole?

The Treasure Planet soundtrack is Amazing!

27. Take your favorite season and make a playlist for it... it has to be at least 5 songs long


1.  Something Wild- Lindsey Stirling and Andrew McMahon

2. Wild Things- Alessia Cara

3. Read My Mind- The Killers

4. Lonely Lullaby- Owl City

5. Almost had me- Lights

28. You've heard of comfort food....what are your comfort songs?

My parents used to play mixed cd's of 90's worship music, when we traveled. So anything by Jars of Clay, Newsboys ( the orginal band), and D.C talk. Also the Dear Evan Hansen Soundtrack.

29. Winter song that is not about Christmas OR a typical Christmas song?

Peppermint Winter -Owl City

30. A song with food in it?

The Cheeseburger song from Veggie tales.

31. Music you listen to while cleaning your room?

A mix of Paramore and NF

32. Song for each of your top two favorite holidays?

Christmas- Carol of the Bells

Halloween- Monster Mash

33. What movie/TV show theme songs can you sing?

I will have to limit myself because too many shows.

I can whistle the X-Files theme song, The Full House Theme Song, The Happy Days Theme Song, Series of Unfortunate Events, The Scooby Doo Theme Song, The Psych Theme Song, The Veronica Mars Theme Song... I could go on, suffice it to say a lot. I love Tv!

34. Song not about relationships, boys, love or anything super serious or sad

Giants by Lights

35. A Folk Tune you like?

Apparently 'Riptide' by Vance Joy could be considered a folk tune. Who knew?

36. Songs that always get stuck in your head...even if you only hear a line or two?

Taylor Swift's songs are incredibly catchy.

37. Workout Playlist?

Anything by NF, rap motivates the heck out of me. Also really upbeat pop songs.

38. Wedding Playlist?

I don't plan on getting married, and if I did I would forgo the wedding and elope. Maybe the clean version of 'I Write Sin's not Tragedies' XD

39. Do you have a song that reminds you of one of your OTPs? (please not Reylo. *gag*) 

I have a lot of OTP's it's insane. Reylo is one of them ;)

Um 'Hey There Rose Tyler' for Rose and 10  and Dynasty for Reylo.

40. A song that you feel different about after seeing the music video and whether you stopped liking it or not? 

If the music video doesn't fit the song, I hate that. Can't think of a specific one though.

41. A song you would recommend to everyone? 

The Land Down Under- Men at Work

42. A song you don't like telling people about so you can horde it and make it "your song"? 

Fake Happy- Paramore

43. A song that make you want to go out and do something crazy/adventurous?

500 miles

44.A song that is super catchy, but you don't like because you don't like the meaning behind the words or just don't like it? 

Moves like Jagger- Maroon Five

45. A song you listen to while pretending you're listening to someone talk?

As funny as this question is, I always pull out my headphones if someone is talking to me.   

46. A children's song you like? 

I'm not sure what would classify as a children's song, I like a lot of veggie tales silly songs.

47.  A lullaby you would sing to your own children

Go to sleep, Go to sleep
Go to sleep little fiends

48. A song that is "your theme song"

Lately I've been binge watching X-Files so basically that theme song, just picture me in my tinfoil hat putting a sticker on my web cam.

49. Favorite musician?

How can I answer this? I have no idea.

50. Favorite book about a musician

Haven't read any.

51. 5 favorite musicians and your favorite of their songs?

Lights- Savage

The Killers- Mr. Brightside

Twenty One Pilots- Addict With A Pen

NF- If You Want Love

Paramore- 26

52. Favorite music blog(s)?

I don't really know any. Oh wait, Lilah's http://lilahsmusicals.blogspot.ca/\

53. An unknown/lesser known musician

Ummm, Faith Marie.

54. Favorite radio station?

When we had satellite it was called Pop Rocks I think, it played a lot of good music.

55. What musician do you listen to the most? 

It depends on my mood, I like depressing music. Then I go through bouts where I need uplifting stuff.
I've gotten better, I used to listen to a lot of junk. Lately I've been listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack a lot. Paramore is something I listen to all the time.

56. Rihanna or Beyoncé? (you can't say neither)

Not really a fan of either. Beyonce because I really liked the 'If I were a boy' song. 

57. Listen to a song by Justin Bieber (or any musician you really don't like) and write a paragraph long review on it?

Baby by Justin Bieber

Predictable and simple lyrics. Annoys me just as much as I thought it would. He sounds really young.
The rap is awful. If  I have this stuck in my head later, I'm going to be mad.

58. Last musical you watched?

The Greatest Showman, I feel basic.

59. Musical you've never watched but really want to?  

Addams Family the Uk version

60. If you could only pick one musical to see on Broadway, what would it be?

Dear Evan Hansen, with the original cast.

61. Favorite musical score from a movie that is not a musical

Spirit, It's just so good. I love Bryan Adams.

62. Last musical you belted while walking around your house?

Probably Dear Evan Hansen, probably Waving through a Window.

63. A song from your favorite musical that you hate/dislike?

To Break in a Glove Song- Dear Evan Hansen. I always skip it. 

64. Favorite song from the Greatest Showman soundtrack?

This is Me, it just hits really hard.

65. Do you have any musical merch? 

Sadly no.

Hope you guys enjoyed that, and if you made it to the end. You're a real one!






18 Apr 2018

Creative Exhaustion and Other Atrocities

I have been trying to write a post all week. Nothing, I've got nothing. I didn't know it was possible, but I think I have finally exhausted my creative resources. Maybe I just need some sleep, or to let myself breathe for a minute. I'm not very good at that, I am constantly told I need to relax.


So I might be a little uptight. I am anxiously awaiting my edits from Rooglewood Press, I am both excited and scared. I reread my story, well skimmed it. I can't seem to see past the flaws, so I'm happy I will be getting professional editing help with it.

I also found out that I'm allowed to continue using my characters and world in other stories. I had already started a sequel for it, Fool's Bet. So I got this great idea to try and finish the first draft before 'Falling Snow' is published, so I can release it shortly after it.

After doing the math, I decided that 500 words a day would suffice. I know, 500 words is nothing to most of you. I am, however, an inconsistent writer, or maybe I should say a very particular one. I overthink every line to death, erase, and rewrite as I go along. My first drafts are more like most people's second drafts.

I'm a perfectionist, so nine days of five hundred words has worn me out. I also can't read anything I've written, because it's awful. I'm not even being modest.

I'm going to share the parts I like, which is maybe five sentences.

As my teeth pierced my gums, the sharp tang of fresh blood hit my tongue. This was the last time he would make me bleed.- Cynfael

Cigarette smoke added to the mix, every dwarf seemed to have one dangling from their mouth.  For a moment I could pretend nothing had changed. It was just another night. Snow would be practicing on the high wire, and I would watch her dance across it. Thinking things I had no business to.-Chayse

He was a razor blade, sharp and alluring. To touch him was to accept the risk of getting cut. I was already bleeding.-Snow

So I've been writing. Which is a good thing I guess, but I've seemed to forgotten how. I think it's insecurity. After this contest was over, people started saying how they couldn't wait to read my story which was and is amazing. It's everything I've always wanted! I'm incredibly grateful, you have no idea.

But, there is this small voice telling me that maybe I don't deserve it. My story isn't good enough. I know it's stupid, but it doesn't stop me from thinking it. It's showing in my writing, I'm starting to doubt myself. No one gets it, they expect me to be over the moon. Which I am! 

Self doubt is a hard beast to fight. 

 That basically catches you up. I've been doing a lot of praying and work lately. I always used to be hesitant to call my writing and art work, but it is. It's mentally draining and I wish more people realized that. 

I promise to have a more coherent and interesting post next week. 

11 Apr 2018

Beautiful People: Favourites Edtion

This is it guys! The last 'Beautiful People' for awhile. This linkup means a lot to me, it really helped me build my platform and I met tons of amazing bloggers through it. Cait and Sky are both big inspirations to me. Also if you didn't know, Cait, has a book coming out! SHE GOT PUBLISHED AND I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF HER!


Onto the questions.

1. Favourite genre to write in?

I don't even have to think about it, Fantasy! Everything is possible and dragons are encouraged.

2. What book (a real actual published book!) do you think your character would benefit from reading? 

*Glaring* The Bible.

3. Favourite piece of dialogue you’ve written?

Like almost none of it, but I remember not hating this bit.

I sighed. “Your point, if you please.”

A wicked smile formed. “I should think you have caught on by now, old chap.”
At my perturbed expression, he rolled his eyes and pulled out another cig.
He stuck it between his teeth, and nodded at me.

I reluctantly lit it.

His eyes brightened, his lips twisting as he took a long drag. “I suggest a promotion. The bloody queen has had her day.”

4. What did your character want to be when they grew up, and what did they actually become?

Cynfael was a pleasant enough kid, who probably would be happy as a royal advisor or scholar. After he was subjected to the cruelty of powerful people, he started to want power. That became his goal. As the illegitimate heir, he will settle for nothing less than the throne.

5. Favourite character name(s)?

Cynfael- means Prince

Chayse- means Hunter

6. What makes your character feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

Alcohol and honestly just someone listening to them. 

 Snow was.

7. Favourite character you’ve ever written?

William Blackwood, he is my beast. Like the 'Beauty & the Beast' beast.

8. If your character were permanently leaving town, what would they easily throw out? What would they refuse to part with? (Why?)

Cynfael is incredibly high maintenance. He would need at least five silk suits, along with shoes, toiletries, and a good chunk of cash. He would easily leave his bloodthirsty family.

9. Favourite tropes to write!

Platonic friendships, group of misfits, and sassy, sarcastic dudes.
10. Which story has your heart and won't let go?

Still freaking out over this cover!

 Falling Snow, which is why I am now writing a sequel and have plans for a prequel and maybe another one after that. I'm really attached to it, I think it's because I put a lot of my own problems in it. So happy, that you guys will be able to read it.

11. Favourite relationship between characters you’ve written?

The bromance between Chayse and Cynfael, the unrequited love Cynfael has for Snow because it's heartbreaking, Miss Hudson and Sherlock's odd relationship, the 'friendship to love' relationship between Chayse and Snow.

12. Toni Morrison once said, “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.” What are the books that you want to see more of, and what “holes” do you think need filling in the literary world?
More fae centered stories and fairy tales that aren't smutty! Books about friends that actually stay friends. More clean reads!

13. Favourite pinterest board / aesthetic for a book?

 14. Favourite time periods & settings to work with?

1900s and 1920's. I also love Victorian gothic, creepy small towns.

15.When people are done reading your book, what feeling do you want them to come away with?

I would love to capture the feeling of pure joy that I get when I read a Diana Wynne Jones novel.
I don't think I will ever be able to do that. Hope, I want to give them hope.