20 Dec 2017

Writing Anxiety

So I sent my submission in for the Roogle Wood Press contest. I was going to wait until the twentieth, I was going to let all my feedback trickle in and then send it. I instead fixed the edits I had gotten and read it out loud to myself chopped it down to size and with a quick prayer sent it off.

I felt confident, like maybe I had done enough. I had worked on this story for seven months, I had developed this grungy circus that is part of a dark fae world. The characters had all shown their motivations, weaknesses, and strengths.

More feedback trickled in the next day, some readers thought the romance was a bit sudden. I didn't get any major criticisms, all of the edits were things that I had already fixed thanks to the lovely Alexa  who has been going over my story with a fine toothed comb.

I started doubting myself.

I'm still doubting myself. Maybe I should have rewritten certain parts, maybe I shouldn't have ended with a kiss. That was something I agonized over, it's cliche, it's cheesy, it's everything I hate. I went with my gut, with what the characters would do. Also, I am the last person who should be writing a kissing scene. Cringing just thinking about it.

I hope I did enough. I hope my love for this story and characters comes across on the page. I don't want it to be flat and cliched.

As I was reading it back to myself, certain parts hit me hard. The parts that I inadvertently took from my own life. Those parts feel raw and real to me. It's scary to let people read it, and judge it. I had amazing beta readers by the way, they were so supportive and helped shaped this story. 

I'm just a tea and anxiety fueled bean right now. So sorry for this mess of a blog post.

On a completely unrelated note I saw The Last Jedi!!!!!

I will post a review, but I freaking loved it.

Did I become complete Kylo Ren trash. Possibly...










18 comments:

  1. Aww Skye you've done so well just writing it all, editing it, and getting it ready cause we all know how hard it is to finish a manuscript :D so whatever the result, be proud of yourself! And hey, I'm sure we'd all doubt ourselves in such a situation :) I applaud you. I wouldn't have been able to do it.

    Don't worry too hard! You've done well <3

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    1. Thanks Lisa! It is hard, I guess I forget that sometimes. I'm always thinking of how I could have done better. I will try! I was hoping I wasn't alone in this. Thank you! That is so sweet, I'm sure you could have though.

      Trying no too! <3

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  2. You've got this Skye! I am submitting today, and I'm nervous too...but I'm trusting that God's got this and that it's going to be okay. You've already succeeded just by finishing it. Remind yourself of that. This is the story you love. <3

    THE LAST JEDI WAS SO GOOD. I really didn't like it when I first left the theater, but then the more I've thought about it the more I've loved it. <3

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    1. Thanks! Good Luck, that's what I've been doing. That is a great way of thinking of it.
      It is! <3

      IT WAS! I loved it so much, probably will be posting the review soon.

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  3. I'm sure that your story will do wonderfully as it is, Skye!!! *hugs* Romance isn't the easiest thing to write, that's for sure :). You made it to the finish line, rejoice!!

    Catherine
    catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com

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    1. I hope so! It isn't, it's so cliche and awful. :)
      Thanks, I will!

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  4. It'll be just fine Skye! Your story is amazing. Also, one of the contest moderators posted on FB the other day that they are by no means looking for perfect stories. They understand there's a crunch time to get it wrote and sent. She said they're looking for a good story and they're willing to overlook clumsy wording etc to find them. They help you fix all that later.
    Which I thought sounded fantastic. So don't worry! You've definitely got a great story on your hands.

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    1. Thanks Maddie, I hope so. Esther sent me that, it was really encouraging. That's nice to know.
      You too! Your stories are awesome!
      <3

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  5. I can totally relate to writing anxiety! Every other week when I have to hand in a short story for my writing class, it's exactly what you describe here. Was it good enough? Was it too much? Not enough? Will anyone like it? Good news is, I've been learning that us writers are often our own harshest critics. I'm sure your story is wonderful :D
    Can't wait to read your Last Jedi review!!! I also watched it, and am bursting with all the feels!

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    1. It sucks! That would be so stressful, I wouldn't be able to handle it. I hope that's true.
      :D
      Glad I'm not alone in that!

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  6. *crushes you in a ginormous hug* Skyyyyye! I should NOT be doubting yourself. No, no, noooo! Your story was phenomenal. It was one of those stories I thought about all the time even when I wasn't reading it. One of those were the characters so deeply resonated me. Where I just wanted to soak up the vivid descriptions. Your story was beautiful. There was NOTHING flat and cliched about it.

    You poured your heart and soul into it. That was obvious from the poignant words. And that's the very best you can do for your writing.

    You did AMAZING. And no matter what happens, I feel blessed to have been able to experience Snow, Chayse, and Cynfael's story.

    Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I hope you have an absolutely beautiful one! <333

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    1. Thanks Christine! *hugs* Thank you!!!! I never know what to say...
      I'm so happy that you enjoyed it, and that the characters resonated with you. Eeep! That's all any writer wants to hear. Thanks! <3

      I don't deserve the praise, but it's making me smile!

      Thank you, you beautiful person! I was blessed to have you as a reader and friend through all of this.

      It was! I hope yours was too! <333






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  7. I know it's hard to take comfort in what anyone says when writing anxiety is hitting you like a brick, but I"m going to say it anyway: you 100% have this!!! The story is so good, and I think you ended it beautifully. I can't speak for the contest judges, obviously, but I think it was a perfect dark kind of heartfelt and original. Your story is amazing, Skye. Whether or not it wins, remember that.

    And thank you for the shoutout! <3

    I haven't seen The Last Jedi, but I am certainly interested in your review. And in Kylo Ren's backstory. Can't wait to hear what you think!

    Alexa
    thessalexa.blogspot.com
    verbosityreviews.com

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    1. It is, but hearing this from you helped alot! Thank you so much! I'm glad you think it worked.
      I will try :D

      No problem, the least I could do. You are always doing it for everyone else. <333

      I am trying to get that done, it's hard to write for some reason.

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  8. As long as your prose is smooth, I think you're all right. Best of luck!

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    1. I think it is, or at least I hope so. Thanks!

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  9. ahhhhhhhhhh <3 *virtuals hugs* i'm sure it's wonderful and i know this feeling <3

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    1. Thanks Caroline! *hugs*
      I hope so! <3

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